The 3-Level Framework for Leading Different Behavioral Styles
Marcus had just finished reviewing the quarterly performance data with his team. The numbers were solid, the project timelines were on track, and technically everything looked good. But as he watched his team file out of the conference room, he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off.
Sarah seemed engaged and asked several follow-up questions, but Mike looked frustrated and kept checking his phone. Jennifer nodded along but didn’t contribute much to the discussion, while David immediately started taking detailed notes and asked for additional data he could review later. Marcus had delivered the same information, in the same way, to his entire team — so why did each person seem to receive it so differently?
The answer lies in a fundamental leadership truth: you manage projects, but you lead people. And all people don’t respond the same to standardized approaches. Understanding how to connect and communicate with your team starts with recognizing that each team member has their own behavioral blueprint, and you do as well.
Understanding Your Leadership User’s Manual
In a recent article, The Top Skill That Determines Leadership Success, we explored how understanding your own behavioral blueprint is like getting access to your leadership user’s manual. We discussed how the DiSC assessment reveals the natural drivers behind your responses – why certain leadership situations feel energizing while others feel draining, and why some approaches feel natural while others require conscious effort. This self-awareness moves you from automatic reactions to conscious choices about when to lean into your natural style and when to adapt.
Your preferred communication and leadership style feels completely natural to you because it aligns with how you’re wired. Your approach feels right to you – whether that’s being direct and results-focused, collaborative and relationship-oriented, steady and supportive, or analytical and thorough – because it matches your internal operating system. You believe your approach is effective because it works for you.
The critical realization is this: your team members each have their own user’s manual too. What feels natural and motivating to you may feel overwhelming, frustrating, or demotivating to them. The communication style that energizes you might drain them. The pace that feels right to you might feel too fast or too slow for them. The level of detail you prefer might be too much or too little for their needs.
When Different Behavioral Styles Collide
One-size-fits-all leadership creates predictable problems that most senior leaders have experienced but may not have understood. These aren’t personality conflicts or attitude problems — they’re the natural result of style mismatches between leaders and team members.
Consider delegation. You assign a project to two equally capable team members using the same approach: “Here’s what needs to be done, here’s the deadline, let me know if you have questions.” One team member thrives with this autonomy and delivers excellent results. The other seems to struggle, asks repetitive questions, or produces work that doesn’t quite meet your expectations. The difference may not just be their competence, it could be how each person processes information and what they need to perform at their best. In this case, it is likely that the person who best meets your expectations mirrors your preferred style.
Or think about feedback conversations. You deliver constructive feedback using your natural style. Some team members appreciate your directness and make immediate improvements. Others seem defensive or shut down, even though your intent was to help them grow. Again, it’s not about the content of your feedback, it’s about how your delivery style lands with their receiving style.
The cost of these mismatches is significant: team members become disengaged because they feel misunderstood, communication breaks down because messages aren’t landing as intended, performance suffers because people aren’t getting what they need to succeed, and you feel frustrated because the same leadership approach works with some people but not others.
These challenges aren’t signs of poor leadership, however, if they are not addressed your ability to lead well will be limited.
From Knowing to Recognizing to Adapting Your Leadership
As we explored in Part 1, DiSC provides a framework for understanding behavioral styles and what drives different responses to leadership. But understanding DiSC intellectually is just the starting point. Most leaders can read about the four styles and think, “That makes sense.” But there are three distinct levels of DiSC application that separate effective leaders from struggling ones.
Level 1: Knowing Yourself — You understand your own behavioral style and natural motivations. This self-awareness helps you recognize your automatic responses and make more conscious leadership choices.
Level 2: Recognizing Your Team — You can spot the different styles in your team members based on how they communicate, what energizes them, and how they approach work. This allows you to understand why certain interactions go well while others create friction.
Level 3: Adapting Your Leadership — You consciously adjust your communication and leadership approach based on what you recognize in each team member. This is where real leadership transformation happens.
Most leaders get stuck between Level 2 and Level 3. They can recognize the different behavioral styles but struggle to translate that recognition into different actions. The key is understanding not just what each style looks like, but how to adjust your approach to bring out their best performance.
How to Recognize and Lead Each Behavioral Style
Effective team leadership starts with recognizing how each DiSC style shows up in your team members, then adapting your approach to connect with their natural motivations and communication preferences.
Leading High D Team Members (Results-Driven)
How to recognize them: They speak up quickly in meetings, prefer brief and direct communication, focus on results and outcomes, take charge when no one else is leading, get impatient with long discussions or excessive analysis, and challenge ideas or processes they think are inefficient.
How to lead them effectively: Give them autonomy and ownership over their projects rather than micromanaging their methods. Focus your communication on outcomes and results rather than detailed processes. Be direct and concise — they appreciate efficiency over relationship-building small talk. When problems arise, engage them in finding solutions rather than spending time analyzing what went wrong. Give them challenging assignments that allow them to drive results. Provide public recognition for their achievements and impact.
When connecting with them: Get straight to the point in conversations. Ask for their input on how to achieve better results or overcome obstacles. Respect their preference for quick decisions and forward movement. Avoid overwhelming them with too much detail or lengthy explanations.
Leading High I Team Members (People-Focused)
How to recognize them: They’re enthusiastic and expressive in team discussions, build relationships easily with colleagues, prefer collaborative work environments, think out loud and process ideas through discussion, bring optimism and energy to challenging situations, and seek social interaction and team involvement.
How to lead them effectively: Involve them in discussions and brainstorming sessions where they can contribute ideas and energy. Provide opportunities for social interaction and teamwork rather than isolated individual work. Recognize their contributions publicly and celebrate their achievements with the team. Give them variety in their work assignments to maintain their engagement. When giving feedback, balance any criticism with positive recognition and support. Help them organize their ideas and priorities since they may struggle with too many options or scattered focus.
When connecting with them: Take time for relationship-building conversation before diving into business topics. Ask for their ideas and input on team challenges or opportunities. Show enthusiasm for their contributions and energy. Be patient with their need to talk through ideas before reaching conclusions.
Leading High S Team Members (Stability-Focused)
How to recognize them: They’re steady and reliable in their work approach, prefer stable environments and predictable routines, take time to warm up to new people or changes, show genuine concern for team members’ well-being, avoid conflict and seek harmony in team dynamics, and ask thoughtful questions to understand impact on others.
How to lead them effectively: Provide clear expectations and consistent guidance rather than frequent changes in direction. Give them time to process new information or changes before expecting immediate responses. Show appreciation for their reliability and steady contributions to the team. When implementing changes, explain the reasons clearly and provide support during transitions. Create a safe environment where they feel comfortable expressing concerns or asking questions. Recognize their behind-the-scenes contributions that keep the team functioning smoothly.
When connecting with them: Take a warm, personal approach rather than being purely task-focused. Ask how they’re doing and show genuine interest in their perspective. Give them time to think through responses rather than demanding immediate decisions. Respect their preference for stability and their need to understand how changes will affect the team.
Leading High C Team Members (Quality-Focused)
How to recognize them: They ask detailed questions to understand all aspects of a project, prefer to have comprehensive information before making decisions, focus on quality and accuracy in their work, take a systematic approach to problem-solving, may seem reserved in group discussions but offer valuable insights when asked, and express concern about potential problems or risks.
How to lead them effectively: Provide detailed information and context when assigning projects or making requests. Give them time to analyze and process information before expecting decisions or responses. Respect their systematic approach and avoid pressuring them to skip steps or rush their process. Acknowledge their expertise and ask for their input on quality or risk assessment. When giving feedback, be specific and factual rather than general or emotional. Recognize their attention to detail and their contribution to preventing problems.
When connecting with them: Come prepared with facts and information rather than general discussions. Ask for their expert opinion on technical or quality-related issues. Respect their preference for thoughtful analysis over quick brainstorming. Give them space to ask questions and fully understand expectations before moving forward.
The Coach in Your Corner
As your coach in your corner, I want to acknowledge that adapting your leadership style to different team members takes intentional practice. It’s much easier to use the same approach with everyone — it feels consistent and fair. But effective leadership isn’t about treating everyone the same; it’s about giving each person what they need to perform at their best.
This shift from one-size-fits-all to individualized leadership doesn’t happen overnight. It requires you to slow down, observe your team members, and consciously choose different approaches based on what you recognize about their behavioral styles. But the payoff is significant: better team relationships, improved performance, reduced frustration on both sides, and more sustainable success for you as a leader.
Here’s where to start this week:
Identify your team members’ likely behavioral styles: Think about each key person on your team and make your best guess about their primary DiSC style based on how they communicate, what motivates them, and how they approach work. You don’t need a formal assessment — just observe their patterns.
Choose one person to practice with: Pick one team member and consciously adapt your communication style in your next interaction with them. If they’re high D, be more direct and results-focused. If they’re high I, involve them in discussion and show enthusiasm. If they’re high S, be more supportive and give them time to process. If they’re high C, provide more detail and respect their analytical approach.
Notice your default patterns: Pay attention to whether you’re leading everyone the same way or adapting your approach. Most leaders are surprised to discover how much they default to their own style with everyone.
Remember, better team relationships don’t just make work more pleasant — they reduce your stress and create more sustainable success. When your team members feel understood and valued for how they’re wired, they perform better, require less management energy from you, and contribute more to achieving your goals. This is what winning at work and at home actually looks like: leading in a way that brings out everyone’s best while making your own leadership more effective and sustainable.
Ready to take this deeper with your team? Consider a DiSC team assessment to get specific insights into each member’s style, or reach out about team workshops that can help your entire team understand and leverage these dynamics. Join our email updates for more practical leadership insights delivered to your inbox.